The Azaleas

I sent those pictures of the azaleas to my mother last year but she never got to see them.  Actually I emailed them to my brother as I did many of the pictures I sent and he'd take his laptop to her house to show her . . . but it wasn't to be with the azaleas.

Mom died a year ago tomorrow - and this year when the azaleas bloomed in April, as they always do, I thought of the pictures she never got to see.  They're fading now . . . more green leaves than blooms on some of the bushes . . .  but they'll always remind me of Mom.

Positive thoughts and prayers to my brother & his family . . . fight hard . . . we're waiting for you!  All the love . . .

November 18, 2009

Today would have been my Mother's 87th birthday - so Happy Birthday Mama - unfortuntely she's not with us any more and I miss her very very much.

For so many years she was the one constant in my life - and there's a definite void now that she's not there.  Rarely does a day go by that I don't read, see or hear something that I think "Mom would like that" or "I need to tell Mom about that". 

The holidays are going to be hard - even though we didn't usually get together at Thanksgiving or Christmas because of work, school and travel - but we always talked.  Luckily I have terrific family and friends and I know I'll make it through the difficulties and come out the other side a better person!!

Happy Birthday Mom - Love You Always

Home Again

It wasn't the trip I'd planned - I was going to spend the week with Mom - talking and doing whatever she wanted - but it didn't work out that way. I have two suitcases worth of pictures and other things to go through and (hopefully) organize in some way. I also have a lot of memories to sort through.

The house in Florida was never my home but it was where we went to visit for the past 24 years - so it's going to be strange not going there again. We'll be all together again on June 1 - not something I'm looking forward to - that's definite.

Miss you Mom - I've been wanting to call so many times!

Memories

Years ago, when my Grandmother died, I remember having many talks with my mother about Grandma and Mom saying it was so hard because there were so many times she saw something or heard something and she started to pick up the phone to call her Mother.  I thought I understood - I know I commiserated with Mom - and said that she could always call me but I truly didn't understand until today.

I was not as good a daughter as my Mom was - she called her Mother every week, sometimes more often.  In my case it could be longer between phone calls (and frequently was) but for almost 59 years I always knew that Mom was there at the other end of a phone line - ready to talk and hear all my problems and worries.  She's not there anymore but I still have the problems and worries and now it's me who finds herself wanting to reach for the phone to talk over the day's events.

With full credit to Rogers & Hammerstein

When you walk through a storm keep your head up high,

And don't be afraid of the dark.

At the end of a storm is a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,

Walk on through the rain,

Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,

And you'll never walk alone,

You'll never walk alone!

I miss you, Mom and I'm going to be reaching for that phone for a very long time.

Love you always.