Monday, May 31, 2010

Excitement!!

What a terrific weekend this has been . . .

Sunday night I had a call from my sister-in-law (a wonderful person :) ) who said that my brother wanted to talk to me!! We had a short but really nice talk - he sounds good  - almost like himself, just a bit slower.  It was SO fantastic to hear his voice!!

Then Monday - I got a picture text of my brother up and about in the hospital.  Looking VERY good especially considering all the problems he's had . . .

All-in-all - great and wonderful news . . . prayers and positive thoughts continue to flow constantly to Florida . .

Flags In

Every year at Memorial Day, the 3rd Army places flags on ALL the graves at Arlington National Cemetery.  This year "Flags In" was Thursday, May 27 and took approximately 3 hours.

The 3rd Army is aided by Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard members who are part of the honor guards for funerals at Arlington.

Flags will be removed Tuesday morning . . .  Thank you to all the men and women who put out and pick up the flags . . . and thank you to all who have served and given so much to make the United States the country that it is.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Change NOW

What a day . . . there are many changes and adaptations that are needed and needed quickly because the new fiscal year starts soon.  Changes that seem minor impact so many things - tentacles are everywhere!  And while a lot of work was done prior to now there were many things that couldn't be done until the budget was finalized.

So madness has set in . . . everything will work out, everything will get done - but in the here and now it's a lot of work and angst!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Moods . . .

Do you sometimes feel petty, small, unworthy?  Me too.  Add insignificance and it pretty much sums up the general feeling.  I know that it isn't and never has been all about me.  Would I want it to be?  Maybe . . at least once.  But that very wish takes me back to the first sentence - - and I feel petty and small.

Just as everything is online - so are psychological tests - including depression, alcoholism, addiction and compulsion.  Interesting, although not unexpected, results.  Self knowledge is a good thing - and realizing when lows are too low, highs are too high or moods have stayed to long. 

Oh well - another weekend has ended and another work week begins. 

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Weekend Reflections . . .

News from Florida continues to be positive - the relief is almost overwhelming - and the situation certainly puts the rest of my life (and problems) into perspective.  My family is what's important - my brother, my sons, the other important people in my and their lives - those are the critical things. 

Budget woes at work, staffing changes, management problems - all are problems and all require time, energy and work but compared to my brother's life they're manageable problems.  I don't want anyone from my place of work to have to leave - unfortunately I didn't make the decision, I just have to live with it.  I'm happy that none of my co-workers will lose their jobs - but I'm certainly going to miss them - a lot. I think the faster we find out the results of the surveys, movements, etc. the better we'll all be - uncertainty is what is so hard to deal with - knowing lets you plan and prepare. 

Changes aren't easy - even when it turns out that the change truly was a positive event.  We'll all get through this process, growing pains and all!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Good, Better, Best

The news from Florida is both encouraging and stressful - progress is being made daily - with physical and speech therapy beginning but there's a need for bypass surgery and that's a definite concern.  Surgery has to wait until he's stronger and more healed - however, the heart is strong so that's a positive to celebrate!

I refuse to think about "bad" news so this is just good and better news - the good is that there is a solution however concerning and the better is that he's alive and getting better.  In fact, that's the best news. 

Miracles do happen and this has been one - I'll continue to be cautious and ever hopeful but miracles do happen.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Reflections on a Lifetime

May 8, 2010 The First 60 Years


I was born 5 years after V-E day which was May 8, 1945 (you do the math)! When I was born, Harry Truman was the President – the Korean War was underway.

When I was a child National Airport had propeller planes and we used to go there to the Observation Deck to watch take offs and landings! In 1958 the first jet arrived.

The first Presidential election I remember was in 1960 (Eisenhower was President from 1952 to 1960 so I thought he had always been there!!). Like many others, I was enamored with the Kennedys and was glued to the television for 3 days in 1963 when President Kennedy was killed. Less than a year later, my father died and had a military funeral at Arlington.

The Cold War was a big part of my life as a child. We lived right outside DC, which everyone knew was a target. We did “duck and cover” exercises during school until I was in high school when, for some reason, it stopped. I remember a drill during PE – we’d just finished our showers and were “ducking and covering” under the benches by the lockers – wrapped in tiny towels with bare bums out! My father had a special card that would get him out of town – I think he was to go to Wright Patterson AFB in Ohio – but the family had to stay. Once I went to Intermediate School I worried that if something happened, my brother, my mother and I would all be in different places and wouldn’t be together at the end. Talk about stress levels! The Cuban Missile Crisis certainly ramped things up a bit – we were close to DC and the missiles of October could reach that far! It was frightening to see my parents so concerned – nightly news and press conferences and Presidential speeches – all became regular parts of the evening.

I was glued to the television again in 1969 when men first walked on the moon – pictures were grainy and black and white but so exciting! Besides, President Nixon had given federal employees the day off to watch the moon landing – and I was working that summer for the Department of the Navy!

Throughout the sixties I watched the Vietnam War unfold on television – Huntley and Brinkley (NBC) and Walter Cronkite (CBS) broadcast it in living color right at dinner time. I was married in 1972 and then left alone as my new husband was deployed on the last East Coast ships sent to the South China Sea. The war was winding down but that didn’t stop the worrying! Two children arrived in the 70s, along with more deployments and several moves.

I have tried to keep up with technology over the years. My first computer was an Apple IIGS we bought in 1985 – in 1992 my kids and I got a PC that had Windows 3.1 (Woot!!). Now there are about 7 computers in the house (2 are mine!!) and most are laptops and wireless!! I got personal email in 1996 or so – now I have two personal accounts (actually 3 but I don’t use the 3rd) plus the work email. I now have a blog, use a wiki and have accounts on MySpace (which I haven’t visited in a long time) and Facebook (which I use daily). I have a Twitter account but, honestly, my life isn’t that important and I don’t care about most of the Tweets!! I have a smart phone (Blackberry) and text and email with it much more than I use it as a telephone! I keep in touch with my sons more via text than telephone!

Only a short look at 60 years - but a start!  Here's to the next 60 - a lot of changes yet to come.

For reasons not fully explored, this Mother's Day is more difficult than last Mother's Day which was the first without my mother.   It probably has a lot to do with my birthday - which ushers in a new decade for me - and my brother's problems, which has focused my thoughts on my own mortality. 

Whatever the reason - it is harder this year - - - so, for all of you who still have your Mothers - cherish the time (even the times they drive you crazy) and for those, like me, without your Mother - cherish the memories!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Progress

Good news keeps coming . . . and I am so relieved.  I know that my brother and his family have a long road ahead of them but it has been nothing short of a miracle . . . a week ago the prognosis was so poor and evaluations were being done and this week he's awake, responsive and in physical and speech therapy.

He's a very lucky man - and I'm very lucky too. 

Having to face one's own mortality when a parent dies is one thing - facing the possibility of having a younger sibling not around any more is almost more than can be borne.  Thankfully I'm not facing that prospect!

Keep positive thoughts and prayers flowing to him and his family . . . they need it.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sleep . . . elusive

Sleep has been elusive during the past week - since last Wednesday in fact.  As long as progress continues to be made maybe sleep will come more easily.

I sure hope so . . . . 

Monday, May 3, 2010

Thoughts

Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted. ~Paul Pearshall

. . . .  so true

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Reflections

Today I'm very greatful to Facebook . . . I have kept track of my brother's progress after his heart attack via Facebook - luckily my niece has been posting updates and, even luckier, she friended me some time ago.

I called Friday morning and was told that they'd contact me with updates - - - so I haven't called again.  I know they're very stressed and I realize that I'm very low on the importance list . . . so that's why I'm greatful to Facebook. 

Today the news was good . . . in fact it was outstanding . . . thank you to my niece for posting the information.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

The Azaleas

I sent those pictures of the azaleas to my mother last year but she never got to see them.  Actually I emailed them to my brother as I did many of the pictures I sent and he'd take his laptop to her house to show her . . . but it wasn't to be with the azaleas.

Mom died a year ago tomorrow - and this year when the azaleas bloomed in April, as they always do, I thought of the pictures she never got to see.  They're fading now . . . more green leaves than blooms on some of the bushes . . .  but they'll always remind me of Mom.

Positive thoughts and prayers to my brother & his family . . . fight hard . . . we're waiting for you!  All the love . . .