Words

Coulda Woulda Shoulda - how many times do these words get used by everyone (including me)? How many times do people say these words to justify something that's happened to them or what they've done (or not done).

I know I've said those things - dwelling on the past or what might have been - but it never changes anything and rarely makes me feel better.  So I've decided to do my best to avoid those words. Instead I'm going to use words like Can and Will and Do instead.  I'm going to focus on the present, dream a bit about the future and look at the past only for the good times.  I can't change what has happened but I can learn from it.  I focus on the present and what's important - my family, friends and, of course, my pets!  And I can look forward to the future, without over planning it, and new adventures.

We'll see how it goes -

Musings - again

SIGH - where to begin without sounding pompous?  I enjoy Facebook - a lot.  I like reading what my friends are doing and keeping up with relatives but lately I'm having a problem.  My problem is the extreme polarization of the country (and apparently some of the people I've friended).  This polarization and, in my opinion, the relative safety of posting inflammatory remarks from the comfort of ones home has become so extreme that it's very tempting to hide all postings from some people or to un-friend them completely. I really don't want to do that.

I've been interested in politics for a long time.  I've known, as an adult, 7 presidents.  Some I voted for, some I didn't.  Some votes I've regretted!  But I don't remember the nastiness that's currently being directed at the President - not even during Watergate with Richard Nixon.  (I am NOT a crook!) I certainly didn't approve of the job that the previous President did, nor did I like the people around him.   I was against his foreign policy and most, if not all, of his domestic policies.  I complained and criticized.  But I never called him anything except Mr. Bush, the President or President Bush (ok, sometimes just Bush).  I never questioned his parentage, his birth, his patriotism.  I was taught to respect the position - it wasn't necessary to like the occupant but I was to respect the title.

Maybe that's naive.  But I think that the political discourse would be so much more productive if we just followed some rules like no name calling, or no yelling.  If we didn't reward those who yell the loudest and how about some facts to back up the rhetoric? ( I like footnotes!)

Anyway - I like the people I've friended (and yes I know them) and don't want to lose any but I use FB as relaxation and sometimes the posts are anything but.  Decisions to be made I suppose.

May

This year is flying past - it's almost Memorial Day!  Bryan graduated from ODU and won the Academic Achievement Award in History - so proud of him!  He invited me to the honors luncheon - very nice event and I was thrilled to go.  Of course now he's looking for a teaching job and, while I certainly want the very best for him, it will be a jolt when he leaves.

One more year at work - that's the plan right now and I don't foresee any changes - before retirement. Guess then I'll have to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life! So many opportunities!  I do know that I'd like to travel some - hopefully I'll find someone to go with me - but I also want to just "be" - and enjoy the area around me.  I can go on mini-trips that I don't have time for now - lots of dreaming going on!

But for now, I simply can't believe how fast the year has gone - in the past it's seemed to move slowly from January to May but not this year!  I suppose all the changes and additions at work have had a hand in making it appear to fly.  Here we are in the beginning of "holiday time" (that's what I call it since we'll have actual holidays almost every other month while we don't have any from the middle of January to the end of May!) and pretty soon it will be Christmas and another New Year!  But, l don't want to get too far ahead of myself!

Think I'll go enjoy this sunny, cool day after all the heat and humidity.

Managing Change

Today I went to a session on Managing Change - it couldn't have come at a better time.  The talk dealt with a particular model that has the change be an event then the transition being the reactions to that event.  There are three steps - 1.  the Ending; 2. the Neutral Zone; and 3. the New Beginnings.

We're always in some part of this transition and sometimes in two or more stages at the same time!  I know that at least one of my changes started with my boss's retirement - that was The Ending.  My reactions to that were mixed - I was pleased for her yet wondering how my life would be changing both in the long term and the short term.  A new manager was definitely the long term change but, in the short term, was trying to manage all the new responsibilities while attempting to ensure the rest of the staff had what they needed.  The Neutral zone is where I think I am now - I've moved forward but there are still questions and, unfortunately, not, as yet, very many answers.

If that was the only change then it would be fairly easy and simple to wait for the new manager to be hired and figure out my role at that time, but life is never that easy!  My problems, staff problems, department issues - all conspire to make this change simply one of many - I can tell when I'm getting stressed by change - I want to sleep too much (most of the time), and get cranky! Then I know it's time to stop, take a deep breath and slowly start one step at a time to work through the problem.

SIGH!

Busy

It's been a tiring couple of weeks.  My boss decided, somewhat unexpectedly, to retire and has been on leave this week.  I've needed to take on some of my boss's meetings & responsibilities - it's certainly made my week seem much longer!

It's all going to be fine and a new boss will be hired in a couple of months. In the meantime, the added meetings will pass, the extra reports will get sent and all will be calm in the universe again!! Now, if there were only more than 24 hours in a day!

Time passes

It's been a long time - I'm not certain why exactly . . . but!  Found out at the end of January that my boss was retiring (can you say jealous??!!) and her last day is in a couple of weeks.  The uncertainty of change is always difficult but there is always the chance for new beginnings too.  It will be interesting to see who comes and how he or she will put his or her stamp on the place.  In the meantime, our new big boss is putting her stamp on the system and my place of work - and in a good way!

I've had my fill of snow this winter and am hopeful that the worst is past us.  I'm looking forward to spring and getting a list going of things I'd like to get done this spring - will have to prioritize because it's a pretty long list!  Cleaning the small room upstairs is definitely on the list along with removing the carpet from the stairs and upstairs hall - have to see if laminate or red oak would work best!  There's a bunch of other things too - a vacation with a friend??

#2 son is doing his student teaching this semester and it seems to be going well.  #1 son is doing well. We all went to Hampton to see my niece and her family when she was down for a friend's shower. My great-nephew is a real cutie pie and it was wonderful to see him (and his parents of course!)!! My dog is wonderful (even when I'm tired and don't think so).  She's such a sweet girl - loves people and cats. She's still very much a puppy and a bit bitey but maybe this summer we can get some formal training in - that would definitely help.  Q-man is much more comfortable with her now - he swats her when she's really annoying but that doesn't seem to bother her!

All in all, I must say that my life is going well.  Not exactly how I pictured it 30 years ago or even 5 years ago but that's ok.  New year, new beginnings - new adventures!