Memorial Day 2009

From Diane's Musings

Once again it's Memorial Day - a special day for me since 1964 when my Father was buried at Arlington Cemetery.  At that time we had to wait for a specific time - because there were so many burials because of the Vietnam War (there was a burial every 15 minutes).  This year we had to wait for a specific time for my Mother because there are so many WWII and Korea War veterans dying.  Mom won't be at Arlington in time for Memorial Day this year but my father, my husband and my step-father are all there. 

It's a very beautiful place and there's no wonder why the Custis and Lee families wanted to live there - but it's also a very sad place - even more this year.

My thoughts and condolences go to everyone who has lost loved ones - and, most particularly, to those with family at Arlington.

Eternal Father, strong to save,

Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,

Who bidd'st the mighty ocean deep,

Its own appointed limits keep.

Oh hear us when we cry to Thee,

For those in peril on the sea! Amen.

Home Again

It wasn't the trip I'd planned - I was going to spend the week with Mom - talking and doing whatever she wanted - but it didn't work out that way. I have two suitcases worth of pictures and other things to go through and (hopefully) organize in some way. I also have a lot of memories to sort through.

The house in Florida was never my home but it was where we went to visit for the past 24 years - so it's going to be strange not going there again. We'll be all together again on June 1 - not something I'm looking forward to - that's definite.

Miss you Mom - I've been wanting to call so many times!

Rainy Florida

A second rainy day in Florida but, in many ways, it matches my mood. I'm not depressed but I am sad. We've been through every drawer and all the closets. The poor trashman should have gotten a hernia from all the bags and bags of "stuff" that we threw out. Nothing that mattered to us but the kinds of things that are "special" to the person saving them (even if they're not seen again after they're put in the drawer!).

I've made a vow (to myself and again) to go home and do this kind of cleaning on my "stuff" so that my children don't have to do it later. We did get rid of a lot when we emptied the kitchen and family room for the re-do but there's a lot more there. SIGH

I took Mom's dishes and some "special" plates to UPS to be shipped today. There are a lot of pictures too - I'm hoping (planning) to get them all scanned with some notations about who the people are (if I know) and put on a DVD. That will make them more accessible (I hope) and I'll make copies for family.

Birthdays

I don't know when I got to be the age I am – most days I don't feel my age (of course there are the days when I feel about 102!) but the calendar doesn't lie – it's been over 5 decades since I was born on this day.

There's been a lot that's happened in that time – just think about where I'm writing this!! It wouldn't have been thought possible in 1950! The typewriters were manual. I now have several telephones and none of them are hardwired into the wall (and I don't have to talk to an operator to make a call). I remember our first TV - it was black & white and there were only 3 channels (clarity depended on how the antenna was working at the time!). I remember everyone gathering around the TV to watch Gunsmoke, Bonanza and Lawrence Welk!! Now the TV is HD and there are 100s of channels (with still nothing interesting on sometimes!) and there are several in the house – everyone gets his own. It's now considered normal to have more than one bathroom, a multi-car garage and houses much larger than absolutely necessary.

The past seemed perfect to me – we played outside all day long and roamed the neighborhood at will – but I know it wasn't, just as I know that today isn't perfect either. I'm glad that I'm here now – I enjoy the comforts of 2009 – I bless the person who made air conditioning affordable and I am grateful to the people who made it possible for me to have a blog on the Internet. I like the speed of communication today (gone are the days of writing letters that take weeks to be delivered) but I do miss the excitement of going to the mailbox and finding an unexpected letter from a family member or friend.

Just some reflections on my life – nothing serious and nothing profound. Maybe that will come next year!

Memories

Years ago, when my Grandmother died, I remember having many talks with my mother about Grandma and Mom saying it was so hard because there were so many times she saw something or heard something and she started to pick up the phone to call her Mother.  I thought I understood - I know I commiserated with Mom - and said that she could always call me but I truly didn't understand until today.

I was not as good a daughter as my Mom was - she called her Mother every week, sometimes more often.  In my case it could be longer between phone calls (and frequently was) but for almost 59 years I always knew that Mom was there at the other end of a phone line - ready to talk and hear all my problems and worries.  She's not there anymore but I still have the problems and worries and now it's me who finds herself wanting to reach for the phone to talk over the day's events.

With full credit to Rogers & Hammerstein

When you walk through a storm keep your head up high,

And don't be afraid of the dark.

At the end of a storm is a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,

Walk on through the rain,

Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,

And you'll never walk alone,

You'll never walk alone!

I miss you, Mom and I'm going to be reaching for that phone for a very long time.

Love you always.