Happy New Year - Welcome 2012!

Just a small brag - my dining room is just about complete - there's only a small amount left to sift through (and a large amount of trash that might take a couple of weeks to get rid of!).  Here's the purchase I made for the room - to hold my mother's china.  It looks like it should have been there all along!

New Year's Eve eve

New Year's Eve eve - and 2011 is winding down.  I, for one, am happy about that - it's been an unusual and stressful year and I'm happy to see it leave.

It's definitely going out with a bang!  I've been cleaning and moving and re-arranging to beat the band!  Bryan has been a huge help (couldn't have done it without him) - and we've managed to move his bedroom to the front room, leaving the one in the back for an office/study area for him.  There's still some things to be swept up/discarded in there but the bedroom is up and running!  Got a new dresser for the front room - looks good and holds the TV and various pieces of equipment.  Boy was it heavy getting it upstairs!

Today I went and picked up a sideboard that I've been eyeing for some time.  Talk about heavy!!  But we got it in the house and in the dining room - after a lot of sorting of assorted papers and "stuff" that mysteriously (!) appeared there!  Now my mother's china is all put away and no longer is any of it in the living room.  The portrait of the boys is hanging above it - looks good!  Still papers and other things to sort through (piled on the dining table right now) and there are three bags/boxes of papers to throw in the recycle bin (luckily it was emptied today!).

Looking forward to having the cleaning and sorting done - and have a list of projects for 2012 - moving forward isn't always easy and often takes me longer than I'd like - but I'm moving and it feels good!

It's Christmas Eve eve and I'm a bit contemplative tonight.  It's been quite a while since it's been just the three of us at Christmas - I'm looking forward to having both sons here for gifts and dinner. There's going to be so much food - glad I can send a lot of it home with S!

I had good news yesterday.  The MRI went well - that medicine worked wonders! - and the results were that I'm fine.  Since it's been a difficult year, I'll take all the good news I can get!

I'm doing well emotionally (for the most part!) and now, physically.  My sons are healthy and doing well and I'm still enjoying my job - it doesn't get much better than that!

The second from the left looks a little like Cleo and the second from the right a bit like Quincy! But neither one would be caught dead in a hat of any kind!

Merry Christmas to all!

Tomorrow I'm having a medical test - one that many people have had - some more than once - but one that frightens me more than most because I'm claustrophobic.  It's an MRI!  I had my first CT scan not long ago and that was ok but this is something else.  I know it will be fine and I'm sure the reason for the MRI isn't serious and the doctor is just being thorough but . . .

So, although I don't normally wish my life away, I wouldn't mind if it was noon tomorrow already - because the test would be over and I'd be back home.  (I have been given some medication to help with the claustrophobia so I can't drive or go back to work.)

Today was the holiday dinner at work . . . lots of good food and got to see some staff who've moved on to other places over the past year.  It was fun . . . although I have to say that I'm having a more difficult time getting into the spirit this year.  I decorated, I've purchased (but not much actually), and I'm trying but it's hard.

But Christmas is coming whether I'm ready or not so it's about time I got ready!  I will have a good day spending time with my sons and I hope to talk with my brother . . . and all of that is good.

Tomorrow is another busy day . . . groceries for sure and laundry definitely . . . . and I HAVE to do some additional shopping . . . SIGH!

"The spaces we live in become filled with memories" - philosophy from a TV show! (NCIS) - that rings true to me.  I have wonderful memories of many people, places and some things too.

Christmas is a time of joy and sorrow - looking forward and reflection on what might have been - it's also a time of "coulda, shoulda, woulda" - and how unproductive THAT is!  So I've decided that it's important for me to focus on the wonderful memories, the great people and positive things in my life now and let the rest go.  To focus on the past only diminishes the promise of the future.

SO. . . here's to a joyful Christmas celebration and an exciting 2012!

My Christmas tree is up, the candles are in the windows and wreaths are on the door and the garage.

The Santa Clauses are out!  I haven't done this much decorating in a while and it feels good!  Still have lots of cleaning and purging to do, but in the meantime I'm going to enjoy the lights, the tree and the Santas!

Tomorrow I'm going to Arlington to place the wreaths on the graves . . . it's always a stressful yet peaceful time - contradictory I know!  The drive up is  usually not too bad although I'll be doing the driving for the first time in a while but a friend is going with me so it will pass quickly.

I've made sure to have all the grave numbers in my phone so I won't lose anyone - I never thought I would but recently (10 years or so) there has been a lot of "fill in" around Harry's that has caused me to hunt more than usual.

I don't usually have trouble finding my Dad (and now my Mom) but I usually have to drive up and down at least once to find my step-father (SIGH).

Anyway, the weather is supposed to be good and I'll have good company!  I always feel good afterwards.

I got quite a bit accomplished today - some of which I can't divulge here! - and some that has been a while in the planning.  It probably should feel more liberating and I suppose it does in a way but it's also just another step in my life - so I guess it should be somewhat anti-climatic!  Anyway, things are going well, I should be ready for Christmas - cuz it's coming whether I'm ready or not!

The tree is up and decorated - still have a couple of things to add - the candles are in the windows and the wreaths would be on the door but it was raining all day and the "command" hook wouldn't stick in the rain! I'll be putting out my Santas later this week.  I've got plenty of places for them and it will be nice to see them on display this year.

I'm gradually getting the house back in order.  With the new windows, there aren't any drafts (always a good thing) and the dining room is usable (if not completely cleaned out) so I need to get started upstairs in the two extra bedrooms.  Hopefully I'll get everything done in early 2012.  Goals are always a good thing!

Turkey is ready for the oven tomorrow, sweet potato casserole is ready, stuffing is ready, pies would be ready but, alas they are not - yet.

I really like Thanksgiving - all the great food of Christmas without the pressure of gifts and excess shopping.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and family - you all are the reasons I am thankful each and every year.

As this year gets closer and closer to its end I find more and more to be thankful for . . . I'm healthy (a little achy once in a while but still!), I have two sons I love very much, wonderful family, great friends, a couple of weird cats (is that redundant??), a job that is still fun (after 24 years that's important!), a roof over my head and food on the table - it doesn't get much better than this!

I'm hoping that 2012 has fewer ups and (especially) downs but at the same time, there's been nothing that I couldn't get through - with pain perhaps but still got through and grew because of the pain.  So farewell (almost) 2011 and welcome 2012.  It's going to be a good year!

Turkey breast purchased, shrimp in the freezer, veggies for stuffing and salad in the fridge, wine in the cooler, apples and pumpkin ready to become pies . . . . must be Thanksgiving!

It's my favorite holiday because there's no pressure for gifts - just lots of great food and time with my sons!

Yesterday would have been my mother's 89th birthday.  Almost every day I think of her, miss her and wish that I could pick up the phone and call her.  She was always there for me, even when she disagreed with an opinion or decision of mine.  I can only hope that I can be as good a parent . . .

Happy Veterans Day - I didn't say it earlier (bad me) but I did take time and paused at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month and thought about what happened on that day at that time 93 years ago . . . when the "War to End All Wars" came to an end.

And I thought about all the men and women (and their families) have done to protect the United States since that time.  They certainly deserve all the thanks and appreciation we can give them.

Time for an attitude adjustment - for me that is.  I'm feeling a bit depressed which does happen once in a while - especially during the holidays (doesn't everyone :-) ?)  Anyway - the glass is always half full so it's time to realize that and move on!  My life is actually quite good and it's time to realize that and move forward!  Pep talk over! :-)

I'd love to figure out what's happened in the past couple of months - I'm running out of money before I run out of month!  That hasn't happened in a long time.  I know that food costs have really gone up but the rest has been fairly stable.  SIGH - anyway I'm working on getting more money by stopping some automatic savings that haven't been very productive lately - I need the money more than a fund that's tanking!  :-)  (but it did pay off my credit card :-) )

Today would have been my 39th wedding anniversary - had the world been different and had my life been different.  At once it seems like a lifetime ago and yesterday.  I rarely think about what might have been but once in a long while I do . . . however, doing that means that I have to undo all the other things that have happened in the past 20 years - there are always consequences!

So, I guess I'll just remember and smile - and think of how very very young we were 39 years ago!

Been an interesting time - removing blinds and curtains in preparation for new windows - house looks ghostly actually - bare and naked!  Looks like I'm moving (out or in) and there's a vulnerable feeling.  Have kept the curtains and blinds in our bedrooms and bathrooms to the last minute - no need to be more public than necessary!

In the process I've also been sorting through the stuff in the dining room hoping to get it straight enough for Thanksgiving dinner - threw out a huge trash bag of stuff and found more that needs to be shipped off.  I've been told that I'm being too kind but some of this would be important to me and I can only hope that were the shoe on the other foot, the same would be done for me.  I'm thinking that might be doubtful but I can only be me . . .

I'm getting down to one major "hoarding" room but it's a true mess - need to really work on that in the near future too - so much to do and so little desire or motivation to do it!  :-)

What an upsetting, interesting and ever-changing year this has been - so many highs and a few lows - but as long as the ups outweigh the downs I count it as a victory!

A busy day . . . day six of this work week . . . but it was fun being outside on a beautiful, sunny, breezy day.

Having some deep thoughts lately - not exactly soul-searching but deep nonetheless . . . can I live alone - certainly; can I have a happy life - definitely; what I miss is the connection - the idea that there's someone with whom you have a bond, a history.  But you know - it's getting better and better every day and life is very good!

PS and my new windows are coming at the beginning of Nov.  -  most excellent!! :-)

Melancholy - Sadness or depression of the spirits; gloom - not as many bad days as in the recent past but every once in a while it sneaks up and smacks me in the face . . . tonight was one of those days - but it will pass!

I've  decided that I need a life but I don't know how to get one - and if that's not sad I don't know what is!  For so long I've lived for others - and actually loved it (most of the time) but now I need to live for myself - after all, as the saying goes, you only go around once - got to make the most of it!!

Anyway - if anyone has an idea of how to get a life - please let me know.

PS I probably won't be waiting with baited breath - cuz I just won't.

My week off is almost over - and I must admit that it's been productive.  I've made headway on the dining room - it looks much less like an episode of the Hoarders and more like an episode of Messy!!  But there's progress - my mother's china (I already had 1/2) has been unpacked - all three boxes and it only took 2 years. I just wasn't ready I suppose - and it's now in the corner cabinet.  There are few extraneous pieces but I'll work on finding homes for those!

I've made plans for new windows for the house - hopefully they'll be installed in the next month.  Upcoming plans include cleaning out my closet - but that's going to have to wait for a time I'm REALLY bored and ambitious, two things that don't usually happen together!

There's still the fence to fix and the front landscaping to do - bushes are gone but nothing's replaced them yet.  There's also painting to do - outside porch rails and inside trim - YUCK!!

My car is home again - the driver's window cable broke - it made a horrible crunching noise and then kept sliding down - luckily I could pull it back up!  This was on Sunday.  Wednesday it went to the dealer where I found out that it was still under warranty!!  Got it back today and with the window, the 30K checkup and oil change it wasn't horrible!

It's been an eventful week - actually the entire month of August was a strange one at work and based on today September isn't going to be much better!  Oh well - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger - or so I've heard!

For the first time in a long time (2003 was Isabelle who was a minor Cat 1 hurricane - although she created a lot of flooding) that we've had a serious hurricane.  Irene is a big girl - and packing a wallop - she's going to be a Cat 3 at the Outer Banks and could be a Cat 2 when it get to us - much more than we've had in this century!

The backyard has been picked up - the porch is clean - the garbage goes out tomorrow and then the cans go in the garage - the loose fence sections have been securely tied to the posts - the storm windows have all be lowered on the east facing windows - water and food are ready.

There's a generator in the garage that's never been used - tomorrow we will fill the gas can for it - and keep our fingers crossed that we won't need it.

I'm hoping that Sunday afternoon the sun will come out (it's definitely going to be humid!!), the lights will be on, the A/C will be humming along and all this will be over.

"The earth moved under my feet" but the sky didn't come tumblin down. Well, I can now say that I've been through an earthquake - certainly never thought I'd say that!!  5.9 and the building at Oceanfront shook - the lights, which hang down on rods were rocking back and forth!! And this was from an earthquake over 100 miles away!! Quite exciting - especially since there wasn't any damage or anything around here!!  Now we're preparing for Hurricane Irene which is turning out to be a much bigger storm than we've seen in many years - hopefully she'll be a nice lady and stay out to sea - but right now the forecast is for a Cat 4 at Hatteras and a strong 1 almost a 2 here.  The last hurricane we had (Isabelle in 2003) was a weak 1 and I had no power for 7 days!  SIGH

I miss being special . . . I hadn't thought of it that way until just now . . . but that's the feeling  - not being special.

I've learned that I truly don't have a life outside of work . . . well, actually I have a life just not a fun, social life.  How sad is that?  Now to decide what to do about it - I am so not a people person that it's very difficult for me to "mingle" especially with strangers . . .

PS I don't really have a social life at work either but that's ok!!

This isn't exactly how I anticipated spending what was, until March, our anniversary . . .  but life is what it is and it's now just another day in my life.  It's a lonely time because it's really only the second time I've been alone - and the first time I wasn't truly alone because there were children who needed to be tended and cared for.  Right now my future - which I had anticipated spending with someone - looks a bit bleak but that doesn't mean it will stay that way.

In the meantime, I have work and family and those are all good things.

The news has been so bad recently - both with the military and with the economy.  So many deaths in Afghanistan . . . and I'm not sure what the purpose is . . . surely we can learn from the past - taking over certainly didn't work for the Russians and it isn't working for us . . . bring them home!

As for the economy, it's just scary - it didn't seem that scary in 1987 or even 2008 but it certainly seems scary now. I was hoping to retire but that doesn't seem realistic right now . . . SIGH

All in all though, I should be very grateful - I have a job I enjoy; my sons are both healthy and well; and things are ok . . .

I can't believe July is almost over . . . seems like it just started but I can't say that I'm not glad to be closer to cooler weather.  This has been a month of record highs - I don't remember so many days of 100 and heat indices of over 100 in a very long time and I'll be very happy not to see them again anytime soon!

I finally have started working around the house - all the bushes out front are gone, cut down, dug out and the ground filled in waiting for cooler weather to plant.  I need to get someone to work on the fence and I'm going to set up appointments for window people to come give me estimates - we'll have to see how much can get done!!

It's been a lonely month, but there too I'm getting better and trying to move forward and not dwell in the past or what might have been.  Just have to see what comes next - life is an adventure after all!

Happy Birthday USA!

June was a fairly miserable month - I got bronchitis that cleared up fairly quickly but then I got conjunctivitis in both eyes!  When I went back to the doctor, the bronchitis was gone but apparently my allergies were horribly affected to the point that I couldn't talk at all!  Later I had to have more antibiotics and more cough medicine - my voice is better but not ok yet - sounds like a frog!!  But I can sleep well at night, eat ok and it gets better every day!  Of course I have two antihistamines, still have the narcotic cough syrup :) and excedrine back and body because I coughed so hard I pulled a muscle in my side!  SIGH

At least now it's July and hopefully this month will be much better than last.

Good play today at the Kennedy Center.  Follies - a musical (of course) with Bernadette Peters, Elaine Page, Linda Lavin and others. I wasn't sure I was going to like it - but it was a lot of fun.

A tad bittersweet - I went with a friend and this is the next to the last play I'll probably go to for a while - it's gotten very expensive and without someone to go with it's not really worth it . . . SIGH!

PS - saw someone "famous" today - Colin Powell, his wife and another couple were in Box 2 . . . a first!

It's that time of the year again - Flags in - done every year for the past 40 years by the 3rd Army "the Old Guard" at Arlington National Cemetery.

Take a few minutes this long holiday weekend and remember all the sacrifices of those who have gone before - and say Thank You to someone serving today.  They make America great!

I am SO confused . . . and apparently I don't have to wait for the rapture . . . so there's work to do.

SIGH

Home again. Love my Florida family and it was so good to see them, but it's bittersweet and I am very glad to be home once again.

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In Florida on what may be my last trip here. Drove past Mom's house - a little tug but the memories are still alive inside. Sadder not to have someone special to talk to about it but such is life ( or so they tell me).

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A nice birthday and Mother's Day - spent the evening with my sons - a good time, no drama and LOTS of potato salad!

A lot of introspection today - when I let myself think about things. Don't do that often - perhaps I should but at the same time, life goes on and dwelling on the past doesn't accomplish anything.

Tomorrow is my birthday and Mother's Day.  I keep remembering my husband who truly never remembered my birthday but he knew it was close to, if not on, Mother's Day - so he made sure to celebrate Mother's Day - that way he was right at least some of the time! At least he knew it was early May . . . Growing up I never anticipated being this age - I did think about being in my 30s and 40s (though certainly not the way they actually turned out) but never thought about my 50s and definitely not my 60s.

I'll actually be glad when the day is over.

So many new things happening - I finally have gotten some changes made in my bedroom (how mundane!) and it felt good!  I got the dining room table back into the dining room and a smaller table in the kitchen/family room since there are only two of us now - it's all that's needed!  Of course I need to get the dining room straightened out but I figure I have until November before I'll actually need the dining room! :)

The townhouse renovations are going well - and hopefully will be finished soon - because I need to start focusing on the house - the fence needs to be fixed along with a new gate.  The bushes out front have to be cut down - maybe even pulled out (at least the hollies).  And that doesn't even touch the windows, doors and all the other things needing to be done!

But baby steps!! I'm feeling good - getting there!

I think I'm doing ok -  at least most of the time!  I do need some REAL motivation to get more things done . . . but I have ideas of how and what I want to do so I'm counting that as a positive and moving on!  Of course if fear of the IRS isn't motivation enough I'm not sure what is or what would be . . .

Priorities:

1. taxes done
2. dining room emptied of the stuff that doesn't belong there
3. dining room table back in the dining room!
4. bedroom rearranged
5. living room emptied of what doesn't belong there!!

Now to do the work over the next few weeks!!  (hopefully faster than that!!)  :-)

Times they are a changing - and change is a very hard thing much of the time.  I suppose I got complacent or just too settled but that pesky change kept coming no matter what.  It will be fine . . . that much I'm sure of . . . I am strong and healthy and content (for the most part) with my life.

In any event, things are different - the initial shock was intense, surprising, upsetting . . . I used to be able to talk to my mother . . . that's changed too . . . getting older isn't very much fun most of the time!

We'll see what happens in the future . . . I have wonderful sons, wonderful friends and a wonderful family . . . I'll be fine . . . we all will.  In a bright new day . . .

I had an enjoyable day . . . grocery shopping (not one of my favorite things but . . . ), resting (always fun), nice dinner and an NCIS marathon . . . all is right with the world!

PS also heard that my brother is getting better and better  . . . fixed his wife breakfast this morning! :-)

As a friend on Facebook said:  Life.Is.Good.

Great news - Bry can drive!! So there's no more driving him back & forth to work or physical therapy . . . which is great - except I do miss our conversations on the way - even when I think he'd have rather been driving (apparently I don't do it the way I should!).

As for the rest -

Gloom, despair and agony on me
Deep dark depression excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all
Gloom despair and agony on me

Good news today (possibly, fingers crossed) from Bry's doctor . . . there may not be a need for additional surgery!  More physical therapy (he can take a few steps on one crutch!) and another appointment in 6 weeks - hopefully progress will continue!!  Walking on his own and, more importantly, driving (and becoming independent again) is in the future!

In the meantime - the brace is gone (for a while now) and that's helped a great deal!!

PLEASE  - all those who plan opening ceremonies at football, baseball, hockey or any other sporting event, just  have a band or a chorus sing the National Anthem . . . NOT a 'celebrity'.  They botch it every time and last night was no exception.

PS the music to the anthem was originally a drinking song - and rather upbeat.  It was not and is not a funeral dirge and should be inspirational and uplifting and lively!!

In my opinion they should stick with marching bands - they know how to play the anthem well!!  And by all that's holy - stop the improvisational singing!!

Thank you.
      The American public

44

The number of Presidents of the United States - 44.  And in a couple of weeks we'll have President's Day - a mashup created some time ago because two Presidents were born in February and having two holidays in only 28 days was too much - and having one three day weekend was easier, cheaper and better than two days off at various times during the week . . . especially since if 12th or 22nd was on a Saturday or Sunday there was no day off of work!

Presidents Day is a Federal holiday - and a state holiday - but not a city holiday . . . so . . . no 3 day weekend for me or any of my co-workers . . . SIGH.

Anyway - Happy Birthday George & Abe!! 

It's Super Bowl - Steelers & Packers and, although I don't watch a lot of football, there are sentimental reasons that I'm rooting for the Packers to win!

It was a stressful playoffs as one son wants the Bears and the other the Packers - so one was bound to be unhappy!

(I'm actually looking forward to seeing the commercials more than anything . don't know or really care all that much about the game!!)

It's been a long couple of weeks - physical therapy has started and seems to be progressing well - but it certainly makes my life more difficult shuttling all over the place.  It's only for the next few weeks - then more surgery is to be scheduled.

But there are positive notes - like his going upstairs frontways for the first time in 3 months!  It's hard and needs work but it's progress!

50 Years Tomorrow . . .

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.



This much we pledge—and more.

John F. Kennedy  January 20, 1961

(This was always my favorite line from the inaugural speech - even more than "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.")

Another excellent play at the Kennedy Center . . .  a great musical that filled the Opera House!!

The leads were fantastic - David Pittsinger's voice is amazing; Carmen Cusack was good (as were all the artists!!) and it was a very entertaining time!

We woke up to no snow (although it was predicted), I dozed off for about an hour and when I next woke up there was a heavy dusting of snow!! All of which seemed to come in about 30 minutes!  Although cold, the snow was mostly gone by the time the play started . . .

The ride home was uneventful . . . except for the horrible news about the shooting in Tucson . . . the country's gone crazy (or at least parts of us have). 

A Week Off

I'm off work this week and enjoying myself!  I had a 'rest' (not a nap but in bed!) yesterday after getting back from taking Bry to work and this morning I actually got a nice nap in before noon!!  I don't care when I have a nap - it's always a good thing!!

Yesterday I puttered around; today I paid some bills and got my hair done (FINALLY).  It was supposed to have been done in early December but I had something else that day, then it snowed and finally the holidays - but today all was done and it's MUCH better!!

Tomorrow I'm torn - do I go pick up my reserve at the library and laze the day away reading or do I go up to Wmsburg to the outlets and spend money?  Decisions decisions!!  I probably won't decide until tomorrow but right now I'm leaning toward the outlets . . .