Debate2016

I watched much of the second debate last night - much but not all.  It is recorded should I decide to swallow hard and watch it in total.  The part I did watch was sickening.

Let me preface by saying I remember my parents listening to the Kennedy/Nixon debates and I remember watching subsequent debates.  In fact, until this year, I think I've seen some, if not all, Presidential debates since the Ford/Carter debates in the 70s.  Nothing I've seen or read about had prepared me for this year's debates.

I saw one candidate for President of the United States of American threaten his opponent with jail should he win.  Tinpot dictators in third-world countries do that - US Presidents do not.  It goes against everything that we stand for.  It's the reason people like Jimmy Carter have been sent to monitor foreign elections.  But it happened here, in the US, last night.  To me it was just one more example of the extreme unfitness of a candidate to become President.  If you don't understand and believe in the basic tenants of the US, how on earth can you be President??

I wish Mr. Trump and all his supporters would stop saying his language was "locker room".  It is not, I hope, the locker room talk of adult males.  It sounds, to my mother of boys ears, as the possible locker room talk of pre-teens and early teenagers.  Middle school locker room talk - maybe and that's probably slanderous to middle-school students.  His language, from the mouth of a 59 year old white male was nothing less than noblesse oblige (entitlement of the rich - something he's done his entire life and gotten away with and which he expected to get away with then) that's come back to bite him. He's the embodiment of the "dirty old man".

Every four years I have high expectations for my country.  In the past, I've expected the very best to be presented as candidates for President of the United States.  Even when I've not agreed with the person, even when I've not voted for the person, I've been confident that their intentions were to be the best they could be and do the best for all citizens.  This year I've harbored no such illusions.  The entire Republican selection process was a farce.  For the first time, to my knowledge, candidates for the nomination for POTUS actually talked about their genital size IN PUBLIC, ON STAGE!!  It was, again, so middle-school - Mine is bigger than yours - EWWWW!!  Having 17 candidates was a joke and enabled this farce to continue to where we find it today:  a bully, a misogynist and a megalomaniac running for President.

I've voted for Republicans and Democrats.  I've considered third party candidates (sorry Mr. Johnson but in this era a President MUST know about current events).  But this year, in my mind, my choice has been clear for months.  It became even more clear with last night's debate. My country is in danger and I can't allow, through my inaction, someone so totally unqualified to represent American ideals to become the more powerful person in the world.

What Not to Say

Many years ago I was called into my supervisor's office and asked to sit down.  She then told me that she'd had complaints, from co-workers and customers, that I wasn't happy.  I sat there for several seconds, astonished.  Complaints?  About being happy?  What was I not doing?  She continued that I wasn't smiling.  Smiling?  Is that a requirement and, if so, how much is appropriate?  These were some of the questions going through my head.  Aloud I asked which co-workers had complained so that I could speak with them personally to clarify what they were upset about.  Customers I didn't contact as much so they would be more difficult to talk to but co-workers - they could have come to me directly if they had concerns.  I didn't get answers, of course, and left her office confused, upset and confounded as to what I should do.

No,  I wasn't happy.  I frequently cried in the shower and in the car on the way to work.  I would have explained this to any co-worker who'd come to me with concerns about my happiness.  I was terrified all the time.  My husband had died only a couple of months before and I was suddenly all alone and responsible for raising two teenagers, worried if we would have to move, if there would be enough money every month, worried if we'd come through this particular storm.  I was dealing with probate court, the VA, Social Security, banks and various investments.  

But I thought things were going adequately at work.  I was helping customers find the materials they needed, I was working the desk, doing my programs, whatever was asked of me.  I was holding it all together.  That meeting with my supervisor was a staggering blow and, needless to say, I went home crying (again) only to pull myself together so that the boys wouldn't see how terribly scared I was.

Many people say they don't know what to say or do when someone dies.  I don't know either but I do know that telling people who've experienced such a horrible loss that they don't look happy isn't what you should say.  Instead ask if  they'd like to talk or just sit quietly away from everyone and everything in a place that isn't home.  Whatever you say, don't make them feel worse about themselves, they're in enough pain as it is.  Don't leave a memory as hurtful as the one that's stayed with me over 25 years.

2016 Election Cycle

I'm so totally over the election - the whole thing. I remember the election of 1964 - the one people were talking about at the conventions where Johnson had the commercial about the little girl playing when a nuclear explosion occurred. It was scary!

I lived in NOVA - about 8 miles (by air, certainly NOT by land!) from the capitol dome. We knew duck & cover was a joke - we'd be taken by the shock wave if the fire ball didn't get us. My Dad had a "get out of Washington" card that didn't include the family (early 60s). It's when the chemical symbol for gold was etched upon my brain because Goldwater's slogan was AUH2O!

There was scary stuff going on in the 60s but it never seemed as nasty as it does now. Johnson said Goldwater was unqualified and vice versa but he didn't call him "Crooked" or "Lying". Johnson's commercial said you can't trust Goldwater to do the right thing but it didn't say he was a traitor or stupid. Those who don't study the past are doomed to repeat it - isolationism didn't work for us prior to WWI and we were far less interconnected than we are now.

I'm heart sick that my country can apparently be so bigoted, narrow minded and hateful. I hope for the future but am worried about getting there - especially as a "whole" nation and not a bunch of separate entities.

Retirement

It's been 10 months since I retired and I must admit that I'm enjoying the slower pace of my days.  I haven't filled my days with "stuff" in that I don't have a lot of charity events or volunteering days - I'm simply enjoying being at home and quiet.

I was lucky to be a stay-at-home Mom before that term was ever used. But my days then were packed with kids, chores and errands - someone always needed something and there was school to prepare for, lunches to make, etc.  This time is different.  There aren't toys to pick up (except the dog's toys before I vacuum), there's no one to bathe or change or get into the car.  This is definitely a slower time and I find that it suits me perfectly.

I watch TV, hang laundry out on the line (haven't done that in ages), read and just "be".  I have found pleasure in playing Mahjong at the library (go figure) and enjoy the companionship and social interaction.  I meet friends for lunch and gossip but on an average day spend a great deal of time alone - reading, thinking, being.

It's a good time - a slower time - and a time that was due!