It's the beginning of March and there are two more sessions of chemotherapy before surgery. I guess this is the end of phase one of the process - it's been an ordeal that's for sure.
I've lost almost 60 pounds but maybe that's a good thing because I've read that some of the drugs I need to take after surgery can cause weight gain - of course, apparently, chemo can cause weight gain in others but certainly not me.
I think I've decided to have the mastectomy without reconstruction. I'm really not interested in more surgery (to replace the tissue expanders) and an additional 4-8 months of trips to the doctor for fluids (for the expanders) and possible additional pain from surgery to find skin (should there not be enough left after the removal). All in all, I do know that I'd like this to be over - to move forward with my new normal and to get on with my life. The surgeon said she didn't want me to regret this decision in 5 years - I said that in 5 years I'll be 73 and I doubt it will really matter!
I'm doing ok for the most part - great family (of course); excellent caregiver (who worries more than I do); wonderful friends and a great medical team. But I'm tired - tired of feeling less than 100%; of being weak; of being tired! 😊
Progress is slow but it is happening - one baby step at a time.
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