Lately I've been thinking about roads not taken, of paths changed, often through no choice of mine. I don't know that I would change anything in my life only because one change can affect so many others, but it would be interesting to see that alternate reality - the "what might have been".
If I could go back 48 (or a bit more) years ago and convince doctors that colonoscopies were the way to go AND if I could convince my father to have one, he might not have died when I was 14. My life would have been different but what would I have missed? Would I have been able to go to college (and specifically the college I attended) because the cost was covered by part of his life insurance. If I hadn't gone to that college, at that time, I wouldn't have met the man I married and I wouldn't have had the two children I have. I might have had others but not these two. I probably wouldn't have moved to Hampton Roads and probably wouldn't have worked in a library - a whole lot of misses! Would the changes have compensated for those? I'll never know!
But I do know that I did go to college and the one I wanted. I did meet a wonderful man who died much too young and I had two terrific (to me anyway!) children who mean the world to me. I did move (courtesy of that husband and the US Navy) to Hampton Roads where I've been on and off for almost 38 years and, for the last 25 years I've been working in a library and enjoying [almost!] every minute of it.
So for all the thinking and pondering, and all the wishes I have to see lost family members one more time, I have to say that my life has been pretty good. I've known (and know) some wonderful people, I enjoy my family, my home and my life. I'm looking forward to the next steps - while keeping the memories of the past close to my heart.
1 comment:
Yeah, I've often pondered how very unlikely the chance was that introduced my parents. But, like you, I am constantly amazed at how much of what I've wanted I actually got. And not the be-careful-what-you-wish-for stuff either.
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